No matter who we are, we all have to admit that dating sucks. Most long-term, happy couples count their blessings that they don’t have to play the dating field anymore, its just that bad. But us single folks just wish we could just skip the entire process of never-ending first dates and get on with a serious relationship.
Dating, especially first dates are often just, time-consuming, embarrassing, awkward and confusing. Often we are left feeling misunderstood and under-appreciated when our closest friends set us up with a complete loser.
Plus, dating can play a toll on our self-esteem by making us wonder what is wrong with us. Maybe even toiling with the idea of trying to change our personality, as that might be the reason why we are still single.
Sadly, life isn’t like the movies where you meet the person of your dreams standing in line for coffee or something of the sort. The only way, to find your prince charming or princess is to get out there and start dating.
Here are some helpful tips to help make the process less painful and more enjoyable, even for those of us who hate dating.
1. Be positive
Sometimes the biggest battle is dealing with our negativity. Change you mentality by telling yourself that dating is fun, and it will show up in your attitude when dating. Tell yourself that you need to enjoy this moment and get the most out of it, instead of just trying to endure until the date is over.
2. Learn to see the good in yourself
One of the biggest reasons that we fear dating is because we don’t consider ourselves to be good enough for that someone special, so we keep dating losers.
Try writing down all of the things that you like about yourself or that your friends like about you. Start small and you will see that you are unique and offer a lot to someone else. You are worth getting to know. Once you can see what is good about you, it will be easier for someone else to see it too.
3. Don’t nitpick about the other persons flaws
This is so easy to especially with online dating; we tend to tear apart their picture and profile, noting the receding hairline or the fact she wears nice clothes makes her high maintenance. Try to see beyond appearances, hey we are all going to age and honestly very few of us will age gracefully.
Plus, first impression sometimes are sometimes wrong, maybe they we nervous, etc. Give them a second chance to get it together, unless you were picking up a red flag or a scary vibe.
4. Envision the type of relationship you want
Sometimes we get so caught up in the ideal person for us that we forget the whole package. Maybe they don’t want children, or different religious preferences.
See past their appearance, hobbies or sense of humor. Ask yourself what do you want out of a relationship? Where would you like to see yourself in 10 years? What are your long-term goals? Stop looking at things that change and start looking at the long run.
5. Relax and be your yourself
The other person wants to get to know the real you and not someone else. Maybe acting like someone else might get you a second date, but there is only so long you can keep acting and pretending to be someone who you aren’t.